A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO BASH: CONFESSIONS OF AN EX‐MAN‐HATER

I remember well my first conscious exchange with a Good Man. Tom was the best friend of a man I had been dating for several months, and a warm acquaintance—though hardly a friend—of mine. I had asked him to meet me for coffee one day after a troubling incident with my lover when I feared he might hit me. While he had not, as I closed and locked the door behind him that night, I was shaken by the possibility. And I was also deeply in love. I called Tom for a “reality check,” to find out if he knew of any history of physical violence, and to seek his advice.