Marrying for the Kids: Gender, Sexual Identity, and Family in Same-sex Marriage

Abstract

Purpose – Historically, the gay and lesbian community has been divided over same-sex marriage along gender lines, with gay men its most frequent supporters and lesbians its most frequent critics. In recent years, however, in localities where same-sex marriage has been available, the gender polarity around same-sex marriage has reversed, with lesbian couples constituting the majority of those married. Although same-sex marriage is framed in a gender-neutral way, the higher rate of lesbians marrying suggests that gay men and lesbians may have different stakes in, demand for, and benefits from access to marriage.Methodology – Drawing on interviews with 42 participants (24 women; 18 men) in the 2004 San Francisco same-sex weddings, I qualitatively analyze how and when gender comes to be salient in the decision by same-sex couples to marry.Findings – Explicitly attending to the intersections of gender, sexual identity, and family, I find that lesbians and gay men did not systematically offer different narratives for why they married, but parents did offer different meanings than childfree respondents: the apparent gender gap is better described as a parenthood gap, which has a demographic relationship to gender with more lesbians than gay men achieving parenthood in California. Scholarship on the gendered experience of reproduction suggests that the importance of gender in the experience of queer parenthood may persist even if parity in parenthood were reached.Originality/value – Findings attest to the importance of attending to the intersections of gender, sexual identity, and family for scholars of same-sex marriage.

Citation

Kimport, K. (2013), "Marrying for the Kids: Gender, Sexual Identity, and Family in Same-sex Marriage", Kohlman, M.H., Krieg, D.B. and Dickerson, B.J. (Ed.) Notions of Family: Intersectional Perspectives (Advances in Gender Research, Vol. 17), Emerald Group Publishing Limited, Leeds, pp. 67-88. https://doi.org/10.1108/S1529-2126(2013)0000017007